freak out

I am currently experincing one of those freak outs that starts about one thing in particular and then rapidly becomes about how you have wasted your whole entire life and it is too late now because everyone else is so vastly far ahead in every facet (from life choices to ability to pick the type of kleenex) that it is just better if you give up entirely. (the 'you' in that paragraph was obviously a figurative you and not you, but if you read it like that perhaps you also need to start meditating).

While being envious of everyone's everything I am simultaneously dissappointed in an all encompassing everything. My crappy internet that cannot stay linked for more than 5 minutes, my landlord who does not fix anything except really really bad smelling food. The courier service at work who can't seem to understand the concept of overnight and of course the sheer existence of other people.

It has been a bit of an angry day today.

Please though do not think I include your existence in the category of "things that are making me angry" unless it is you who is making my internet cut out (or if it is you that is making fish for the third night in a row below me) I love each and every last one of you.